*l0nely.heartx-

here again -

2006-12-22T13:04:00.000+08:00

it's been a long long time since i update.
tings haf been well (:

glad to say tt.

went to DOWNTOWN EAST thrice in jux 2 wks.
1 hr trip on e mrt is so torturous each time.

but stil. we managed to survive thru it (x

crap.

e chalet was SUPRENDOUS!

thx my dear.
for turning my birthday into a real special one (:

i do appreciate wad u've done.

so pls dun ever again say i dun.

rain in n out.
making every activity so damp-atous.

luckily it din rain alot yday while we were out at sentosa.

saw graham yday.
stil e same old him.

it's been a long time since i meet up wif my national camp mates.

rmbed e times when we cheered together as one.
it was as heart warming as ever (:

anyway pple.
do check out my new you tube display on e right.

full house fanatics will definately love it (x

OGL stuff coming up.

hols ending.

christmas nearing.

it's time to enjoy life to e fullest b4 i start my engine for yr2.
it's not gonna be easy.

but at least i haf my frens n him ard wif mi (:

CAMBETTE pple!

strive hard n we'll enjoy e fruits of our labour next yr end.

kaleidoscope of life ~

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

everything is looking great -

2006-12-02T13:10:00.000+08:00

oh damm it man!

ming ming beat mi to updating bout zouk nite.

hahaz.

oh well.
i shall save some space n let her do e details.

but of cox.
i enjoyed myself.

okie okie.
it's more den enjoyed lahx.
was super crazy tt nite (x

as if we were in a disco rather den pub.
dance n dance n dance e nite away.

e feeling was FANTASTIC!!

dance fanatics like mi shuld understand how i felt.

it was lyk paradise.
heavenly cool..

the nite was young when everything ended.
n so fook had to offer his hospitality to us (x

thx alot for giving up ur bed.
so warm n snuggly in there.

probably cox he was there to hold mi when i slp.
he was 1st to fell aslp though (x

going out again ltr to bbq wif his family.
it's been a long time since i had this tingly feeling.
felt so great! (:

thankew for deciding to come home.
u chose e right timing.
if oni it was a lil later.
u'll probably face a whole string of rejections.

but wadeva it is.
i hope it'll last this tym round.
n i guess it will ba.
after all e tings tt we've been thru.

well.
all i wanna say now is i trust u whole heartedly n i stil do.
i will continue to love u as much as i haf.
so pls hold on to my heart n nvr let go again.

for all tt it takes..

[[*wo hui yong yuan ai ni___]] -0812-

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

fun Fun FUN!! -

2006-11-18T13:10:00.000+08:00

i love my class man!!

thurs was so crazy lahx.

we went to east coast for some picnic gathering.
but ended up blading more den we eat.
hahaz.

the mrt trip was full of gossips.
like some aunties going shopping together (x
but e sad ting is e guys din join us.
so it ended up jux e usual bo liao gals again.

aiya. we're so well-known for tt already.

it was bad enuf tt e weather was so scorching.
fook stil hafta wear tt long BLACK sleeve shirt n pants.
hahaz. in case u forget.
black is e best absorbant of heat (x

oh yes. this i hafta say.
the GUYS might as well change their gender.
when they allowed us to carry e super heavy bags all e way to east coast.
even when we ASKED for help.

n lyk e old saying goes..
we cannot judge a book by it's cover.
jux lyk how we cannot judge how gentlemanly JASON is by his looks.

AARRRGGGHHHHH.....

how dare he look behind when we specifically asked him for his kind help!!

aniwaes..

shortly after reaching our destination.
we settled down for our homemade lunch.
while some booby dinosaur went for her swim.

not to be mean.
but she looked lyk she jux came out from e mad house or smth.

perhaps she tot she was sexy i guess =x

n den. HK finally came.
wif a can of heinekein in his hands.
claiming tt he was thirsty.

omgness.
who ever quench their thirst wif a bottle of alcohol!!
but thank god he was there.
cox there wuldn be e highlight of tt day's activities if it wasn for him (x

the weather was so unpredictable.
shine n rain.
passing clouds n heavy downfall again.

we got so fed up tt we decided to blade in e rain.
n mabi tt's where i got my cold from.
hahaz (: it was fun though.

it's so funny seeing e guys trying so hard to blade.
while we were doing it quite at ease.
especially ming ming.
she's so damm good lahx!!

but due to e fact tt we were beta at blading.
we had to suffer under e torture of tt dinosaur again.

luckily for mi.
i escaped!! wahahahax..

dinner was at mac.
while we discussed bout ZOUK.
i jux cant wait man!
another week plus to go.
it's lyk foreva...

anyway pple.
HK is organising an underage party at ZOUK.
be sure to be there on e 30th of nov okie (:

at last came e most impt activity of e day (x

e whole group of us squeezed into seven 11.
"whispering" bout wad drinks we were gonna get.
drinks as in e ones where u had to produce ur IC to buy them.
lolz.

well anyway.
i got a bottle of spooky at first.
while ming got cola n stella asaki.
n wif much regrets.
e dinosaur got e same ting as mi.

to our surprise.
HK din get anything for himself!
oh. i forgot to mention tt it was oni initially.
hahaz.

went to e rocks by e sea.
watching e stars in e nightlight.
singing along wif e wind.

how romantic..

wif a bunch of noisy pple though.
heex.

actualie. the truth is.
i was e main noise producer (x
screamed my hearts n lungs out.
drowned all my sorrows in tt whole 10% of alcohol.
wif a lovely group of frens.
who stood by mi rain or shine.

i culd say.
i'm reali v thankful to them.
nvr haf i met such pple in my life.
who culd gif mi such joy n laughter.

other den him.

i love u guys. i reali do.
from e bottom of my heartx (:

we sang a thousands songs.
n a thousand miles too (x

reminded each other of e pain tt we've gone thru.
at e same tym.
trying our v best to forget them.
at least jux for tt v night.

our faces were extra red aft e drink.
especially mine. hahaz.
had a bit of migraine.
but stil e enjoyment was absolutely unforgettable.

went crazy over e camera on e way back.
took so mani pics tt i was an hr late hm.
it was worthwhile though.
hahaz (:
* refer to friendster for them okie *

Ao6 keep R0cking on yea!

------------------------------------------------

yday was e first time ever.
we were so rash.

but cool!

hahaz.

went to clementi kbox on a sudden decision.
passed by mani shops n it reminded mi of those days.
e days when everything was jux rite.

e times when we culd jux sit in mac n chat non-stop for e whole afternoon.

tt were e days when nth seemed to matter.

as e old goes e new arrives.
but frens of e past wil not b forgotten.
yes i assure u they wun (:

stella n ming decided to go crazy wif mi.
skipped vball training for singing.
but wasn high at all.

we jux sang to our own voices.
own tune. own songs.
it was rather nice for a change.

first tym at kbox so peaceful (x

so excited!
mabi going kbox again nxt thurs.
n this tym.
it's wif zhou ren n sk too.

heex..

gonna go crazy again once more (x

till e day we meet...

HAF FUN PEOPLE!! (^.^)

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

life's a struggle -

2006-11-09T11:32:00.000+08:00

life's a struggle.

hmms.
got this from eve's tag.
ming intro it to her though.

haf been trying rather hard to be optimisstic.
n i can say i've succeeded till now.

nono.
emily cant be depress.
it's so not like her.

everything changes.
but beauty remains.

life doesn oni revolves around love.
i've gotta realise this sooner or ltr.

family, friendship, fun, studies.
den after tt does love come in.
is it this way?

some people search foreva.
for that one special kiss.

i haf found it haven i?
or was i too dumb to believe tt it's it.

i wan u to catch mi when i fall.
but it was u tt i fall.

a moment like this.
i cant believe it's happening to mi.

i shall not read too much into the lines.
worried for a fren.
concern for her.

wake up from the fantasy.
wake up from the nightmare.

i maybe dreaming.
but till i'm awake.
cant we make this dream last foreva.
n i'll cherish all e love tt we share.

but it's too late i guess.
culdn haf happen again.

wad if i told u.
it was all meant to be.

perhaps.
it's reali over.

some people wait a lifetime.
for a moment like this.

i've been waiting.

too long tt hope is fading.
fear is buliding.
collapsing in front of mi.

in ur eyes.
i found the greatest prize.

hold mi close.
dry my tears.
leave mi in ur arms foreva.

hug mi tight.
dun chase mi away.

it's where the stars lines up.
it's where the oceans touch.

a fairy tale tt nvr ends.

it's time i face up to reality.
love is reali not everything.

it's where u gif ur all n gif a lil more.
tt's where u find love..

the ending of one,
marks the starting of another.

ti`amo//2315.19.149//je`taime
- jie -

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

here again -

2006-11-04T21:02:00.000+08:00

i jux realised tt 13 out of 21 of my entries are filled wif all e tings happening between us.

oh well.
sorry pple for e depressing tone.
but reali cant help it.
this is e place where i can express my tots almost freely.

wait till everything is settled.
will my blog be back to e brighter side again.
for now jux bear wif mi yea.

hmmms.
wonder wad is going on in his mind.
secrets tt cant be told.

i wuld rather be informed of wad is going on.
being kept in e dark is not fantastic.
finally realised wad it means to be lied to.

if there reali is someone else, jux say.
mabi i wun feel so bad after all.
unless i were to find out myself.
i may die from tt instead.

so please.
if u r here n happen to read this.
bear it in mind tt honesty is always e best.

no1 loves to be ignorant.
neither do i.

how wuld u feel if i were to lie.
to bluff my way thru everything i say.

i noe it culd be hard.
but dun let ur heart decide.
control ur mind.
release all u haf got.

throw everything into my face.

treat mi as ur v best fren.
treat mi as ur 1 n oni jie.

wad i wan is e truth n oni e truth.

pls do not hide away from mi.
do not run away from reality.

u noe for sure.
this hafta be settled one day.
n if it drags on n on.
everyone will get hurt in e end.

so pls for godness sake.
if there's anything untold.

do open ur heart n tell it all.

jux lyk e past.
when we weren together in e 1st place.
share ur mind wif mi.

tt is all i ask for now.

but i guess it may hafta wait till e exams r over.

Jux keep going yea.
hang in there.
cox i'll be there.

i noe it's hard juggling so mani tings at once.
tt's why i'm not bothering u much.
concentrate on ur exams.
i believe u'll make it someday (^.^)

JIA YOU!!

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

heart -

2006-10-31T08:22:00.000+08:00

it's 8.20am in the morning.
cant go back to dreamland anymore.
so here i am again.

dunno wad to do.
dunno wad to say.

for awhile i tot tings will be fine.
but for now.
it has reverted back to e dull old times.

heart full of emotions.
words stuck in the throat.

feel lyk shouting out to the world.
'please stop fooling around'
but no one's gonna hear mi for sure.

i'm a lil gal here.
tired n weak.
trying to be strong.

facade is the word.

oh god please remove the iron curtain between us.
i beg u for once.

please please please please please......

dun do this to mi.

it's totally ur choice i guess.

my hands stretched out to grab ur heart.
but it lies in the bottom of the deep blue sea.

perhaps this is e karma tt i've created upon mi.
shuldn haf come in between u n her.
shuldn haf caused e downfall of ur relationship.
if only i've stayed away.
mabi this wuldn haf happened.

but i was ignorant at tt tym.
wuldn haf known u wuld leave her for mi.
she was deeply heart broken i can see.
we din care a bit.

n it's my turn now.

zhe jiu shi bao ying.

accumulate merits for the future.
is tt wad i'm suppose to do?

so tt my life will be easier in tym to come.
away wif the karma.
away wif the pain.

times haf changed.
for the beta i hope.

memories tt last foreva.
will still do.

tings in my life will continue to stay.
perspectives of people are definately different now.

for i've learn the true meaning of love.

thank you for teaching mi.
the warmth tt i've once felt.

a new destiny awaits upon mi.
a new rival.
a new hope.

the greatest obstacle of my life.
is not u.
but my unwavering heart.

my soul lies within the depth of ur seed.

till the day it ends.
it'll foreva be there.

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

2006-10-28T22:17:00.000+08:00

long time since i've last updated.
thx alot frens for being there when i needed u all.
i guess i'll jux take in e stuff tt i wanna believe in.
it's kind of stupid cox this mean i might b lying to myself.

but ya. who cares.
i'm nvr gd at facing up to reality.
wad made u tink i'll be able to this time round.

wo shuo dao zhuo dao.
wo da ying zhi zi de shi wo yi ding ban de dao.

jux wait n see.
gimme some time.
i'll do wadeva i can.
but if e end product is gonna stay.
at least i can say tt i've tried my best.

i take this as a challenge. as a test.
in future we're gonna turn back, look at it n haf a gd luff.

for e sake of our promise.
for e sake of our hearts.
for e sake of our 'child'.
i'll do e best tt i can to overcome all odds.

i'll try wif every might to pull strings together.
put aside all tots n hold on to u.
till e very end i'll strive.

for now.
jux workhard, hang in there n i'll b wif u.

huggs__________*

----------------------------------------------------------------

hmm..
went to lots of places these days.
united our class alot more.
especially e winning of drama fest!

hahaz.
din reali expect tt we'll get it.
but we did.
n e most exciting part of all is...

the reward of 100 DOLLARS!!
cold hard cash!!

wahahahax..

intend to use part of it for end yr chalet.
the other part class fund.
n thx to yan chang too.
we dun hafta pay a single cent for e chalet!!

YIPPEE!!!

went to kbox too tt day.
we almost spoil the sofa if not for our feather light weight.
heex. craze was e theme of tt day.

we went from tuo tiao to faint to numb to lian-ai-ing.
n most of all.
clement n jason SANG!!
isn tt amazing.
jason singing tong hua.
can u jux imagine tt.

OMG-ness..

but he had sk as his translator lahx.
gd job sk! (x

last but not least.
we got to take some neoprints!!
had to literally drag the guys into e machine.
but managed to persuade them in e end.
*refer to my friendster or ming ming's blog for e pics (:

so sad tt i culdn make it to jamming on fri.
wanted so badly to go.
oh well. shall organise another 1 someday (:
n i will b soooo looking 4ward to it (x

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

i will be strong -

2006-10-18T20:33:00.000+08:00

specially to you ----

it's alrite.
dun worry bout mi.
i wun cry anymore.

i'm satisfied enuf.
to be able to see u is my only motivation.
it's my only source of hope now.

pls haf fun to the fullest.
enjoy urself n cheer ur hearts out.
wif every single unintentioned smile.
my heart leaps.

i'm sorry i wasn able to bring u as much joy in the past.
for now i'll officially pass on e job to ur frens.
to cheer u up. to make ur day.
therefore i will no longer complain.

xian zai, wo zhi xu yao kan dao ni.
zhi xu yao kan dao ni de xiao rong.
zhi xu yao rang ni kai xin.
yi jing zhu gou le.
qi ta de shi jiu zhan shi fang zai yi bian ba.

wo yi ding hui deng de.
jiu suan yao wo deng dao yong yuan wo ye xiang deng.
jiu suan ni ren wei wo hen sha, wo ye hui deng.
jiu suan xin tiao ting zhi de na yi tian.
wo de xin hai shi hui deng zhe ni.

wo hui wei le ni jian qiang qi lai.
jiu suan zai xin ku.
wo ye zhan shi hui ba yan lei cha gan.

shuo yi.
ru guo you xin shi jiu gao shu wo.
ru guo du shu xin ku jiu kao guo lai.
zhi yao ni bu shang xin.
wo ye jiu man yi le.

let's switch places for now.
lemmi be e one taking care of u instead.
lemmi treat u as my responsiblility.
lemmi protect u from all e pain.
i promise i'll do a good job.

take a rest n close ur eyes.
haf all the fun u can.

jux so long as u rmb there's always a person there for u in this world.
even if no one cares she will.
even if u're e worst being on earth.
she'll stil hold on to u.
even if u're crippled for life.
she'll stil support u.

jux as long as u keep her there in ur mind.
her heart will nvr waver.

* [[u dun hafta be perfect to belong to this place.
u can climb e highest mountain if u want.
or quietly imagine tt u might someday.
u can take chances or take safety nets,
make miracles or mistakes.

u dun hafta be composed at all hrs to be strong here.
u dun hafta be bold or certain to be brave.
u dun hafta haf all e answers
or even noe who u wanna be.
jux hold my hands, rest ur mind, n stay with it.]] *

u're nvr blamed.
i sincerely thank u for all e love u've showered mi.
all e past memories tt will stay foreva.
all e forevers tt i've took for real.
they are there for a reason.

to u they may be jux simple words.
but to mi they meant the world.
crap has nvr crossed my mind.
they are as serious as they can be.

all e v best for ur olevels.
jux 15 more days to e battle.
workhard n i'm sure u'll make it (:
CAMBETTE!!

~ theresnoreasonwhy cox *ilu___

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

openhouse -

2006-10-15T21:36:00.000+08:00

CHEERLEADERS ROCK MAN!!

hahaz. so glad tt we managed to finish our dance in merely 4 days.
we are so fantastic arent we?

i tink most wil agree wif us.
especially after watching our glamorous performance.
heex.
i wanna thank all e cheerleaders.
wif all e effort we haf put in together.
i believe every routine is possbile (:

let's jux hope tt ng chor tan wil make this in2 a cca yea.
c'mon cheerleaders!
we'll make it definately! (x

anyways.
thx for coming too yea.
my outfit was sweet arh?
of cox man.
i made e outfit sweet de mahx.
heex. pls dun deny tt fact (x

most likely u'll be able to make it to jj de.
no worries okie (:
jux workhard for olevels for now.

haiz. dunno wad's wrong wif my parents these days.
must be e catching age tt's creating all e trouble.
i cant take anymore of this rubbish.
hope everything will be fine somehow.

hmmm..
not here nor there these days.
dun reali noe how to describe this.
but feeling kind of lonely.
no one in particular to turn to.
everyone is busy in their own way.
including him.

but well.
shuldn complain too much lahx.
i cant help much either.
ke shi wo zhen de xiang bang mang.
wo neng gou zhuo shen me ne?

drama fest n OP coming up le.
so tiring lahx.
but i lyk OP.
so it's stil okie. heex.
cant wait to see clement n hong kiat kiss.
so sad they r being forced to.
it's jux a play anyway. heex (:

xi wang yi qie shun li.
this is my wish of e day.

zhen de hao xi wang zai kai xin qi lai.
jux lyk e past.
despite of every burden on mind.
i'll stil be smiling n luffing away.

perhaps tt's e power of love ba....

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

waiting -

2006-10-11T22:26:00.000+08:00

i'm waiting.
waiting waiting n waiting.

cant be selfish.
so i'll leave everything to e end.

trying v v hard to clear my mind.
slapping my hands away frm e fone.

smiling in skool.
hearts away.
weariness in e eyes.
that will nvr fade.

cheering as hard as i can.
drowning my urge wif e screams.
pushing up on e elevator.
refraining my mind frm drifting.

wif every throw i landed down back 2 earth.
reality hit mi rite smack in e face.

blinking those tears away.
leaning onto my bases.

it's as if a cripple w/o a backbone.
stretching my arms out asking for help.
but all i got was not even a single msg.

isolating myself from everyone else.
i cant help it but keep quiet.
perhaps u'll find mi less annoying tt way.

i'm sorry my frens.
but gd tings always come to an end.
jux as when i tot they'll last.
a sudden disaster woke mi up.

it's not e finale so soon i noe.
but whether is it starting.
i doupt so.

let's put our hands 2gether n pray 4 now.
for love is in e air. Amen.

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

7th oct 2006 -

2006-10-10T22:22:00.000+08:00

went out last sat wif him.
had such a great time!
but e haze was such a spoiler..

oh well.
it's okie lahx.
at least we manage to got to e roof terace (:

wen to THE CATHAY for e 1st tym of my life (x
so excited lahx!!
budden my legs were e victims of my estacy.
had 2 big blisters aft tt stupid long walk.
all e way from orchard MRT to dobby gaut.

arrggghhhh...

luckily it was all worthwhile.
cox we managed to get e GRAND cathay.
and when i say GRAND it's reali GRAND man (x
looks more lyk a concert theatre den 1 for movies.

was rather shocked when he did smth out of e blue.
hmm. but i jux played along (:
din wanna spoil e ambience too ya.
thx lots anyway.

e movie was okie.
v v touching.
made mi cried n cried throughout e show.
okie. mabi it's jux my problem.
cox apparently he seemed emotionless (x

the evening was e highlight of e day.
went to some durian lyk buliding.
heex. had a "breath taking" view from e top.
but e haze blocked one quater of our sights.
those indoneisans r jux idoits man.
why cant they be more considerate for once!

chatted bout some stuff.
" zai wu ding chang zhe ni de ge"
but it reali wasn a "wu ding".
jux some open air at e top of 3 storeys.
hahaz (: but it was gd enuf lahx.

had some more walking again.
this tym it was along e highway.
sang songs n discovered new lyrics along e way (:
though it wasn a v comfortable walk.
i enjoyed myself alot solely jux from tt "walk to remember"
hope there'll be more in future (x

my legs were almost breaking when we FINALLY reach lao pa sat.
omgness.
e stall holders there treated us lyk VIPs lahx.
even served us all e way to our table.
as if we were some fragil glass artifact.
gonna break anytime if we stride another inch.
heex. for once in my life i felt so impt (:

had so much to eat tt my stomach almost exploded.
the food was nice. but not too fantastic yet.
in e end partly due to e haze.
n partly due to e time.
we decided to take a bus home.
wad happened on e bus i shall not elaborate.
dun feel a need to ya (:
basically it was jux meaningful lahx.

thx so So SO much for sat.
i had loads of fun n entertainment.
din wan e day to end so quickly.
but all gd tings hafta come to an end eventually.
so well. jux face up to reality ba (:
hope u had enjoyed urself to e fullest too yea (x
take care lots n jia you for O's!!

we shall haf more fun after ur exams ba.
meanwhile pls workhard okie (:
i'll be there always...

23 more days to olevels.
CAMBETTE!!

~ ni dao di zai xiang shen me ne

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

finally -

2006-10-05T20:33:00.000+08:00

finally Finally FINALLY!!

whoots~

promos are over for gd.
heex.

shopping Shopping n more SHOPPING!!

wahahahax..

hmmmm...

went window shopping today wif nutella, sk n jamie.
was quite unfruitful.
cox din manage to get anything arh.
jux a pair of earings (:

was kind of suprised when i came down aft hist paper.
n well. at e same tym told them bout sentosa.
dou shuo i wanna haf lunch in skool le! (x

oh ya talking bout SENTOSA..
we'll b going there again on sun.
hahaz. oh mans. i cant wait!!
gonna start on my vball skills again.
tink they haf been deteoriating since e exams started.
cannot afford 2 lose out any further.
i stil wanna be on e bench nxt yr de lehx! heex.

wonder wad i'll wear on sun..

n of cox sat.
e ultimate day.
hahaz. wil b going somewhere in e evening.
okie lahx. tt place is nt too interesting.
but e view is nice frm there.
n entertaining in its way (:
hope u'll lyk it yea.

well well well..
it's ur turn soon le ba.
so JIA YOUS wors!!

omg.
i stil cant believe tt promos are reali over.
pardon mi but i'm lyk in a trance rite nw.
probably stil recovering frm e stress ba.
heex. since when emily has got stress ya (x

tml gonna go gym le.
needa start on my slimming plan soon.
cant wait anymore if i wanna look gd in my prom dress nxt yr (:
yes yes. yi ding xing de!!
i'll reduce to 40 kg in a month's time.
u'll b suprise of wad i'm capable of.
hahaz. sounds scary arh.
but i'm reali bent on slimming down lahx.
seriously pple. so pls dun stop mi yea (:

aniwaes..
hope tt every jjcian wil be promoted yea.
exams over.
wad's done is done.
so no more brooding over how lousy e papers haf been.

All e very BEST everyone!!

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

hapi. sort of -

2006-09-28T22:11:00.000+08:00

hmm.
met him today.
had quite awhile of fun.
but well. still..

cant reali express my feelings over here.
since i've agreed to let him read.
so if u r here pls leave a tag yea (:

had a humongous suprise today.
din reali expect it to happen.
but tings in life are unpredictable at times.
very hard to imagine.

but i'm reali sorry.
i cant rite now.
cox i'm not in e position to control my heart.
so pls dun wait.
cox i am waiting too.
i noe how terrible the feeling is.
wo bu xiang ni wei wo tong ku.

well. today is a great day for mi i wuld say.
feeling v tired these days.
probably cox of the tots constantly spinning in my mind ba.
i will concentrate de lahx pple.
so dun worry yea (:

to him.
thx for making my day again.
all i can say is follow ur heart.
wo bu xiang bian zi si.
so i'll wait. but at e same tym.
accept e fact tt u r no longer mine.
letting go is not easy i guess.
thus i wuld oni do so til e day u do the same.
xian zai jiu rang wo zai ni shen bian shou hu ni ba. ye qing ni bu yao shang xin.
jia you wors!! (:

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

yue ding -

2006-09-27T12:37:00.000+08:00

qing bu yao fang qi.
qing ni bu yao dui wo men jue wang.

ni shuo guo.
chu fei wo jue ding fang qi.
bu ran ni shi bu hui fang shou de.

wo hai mei fang kai.
shuo yi qing ni qian wan bu neng fang qi.

hao bu rong yi de lai de gan qing.
qing ni bu yao fang qi.
jing guo zhong zhong kuen nan hai shi zai yi qi de gan qing.
qing bu yao fang qi.

fei chang zhen gui de yi fen gan qing.
chen jing rang ren xian mu de ai.
qing ni bu yao fang qi.

wo zhi dao ni yi jing bu xiang gen wo zai yi qi le.
dan wei shen me ni na me qing yi de shu ga le zhi zi.
yi qian shi ni mei ci zai bei hou zhi chi wo.
gu li wo jian chi xia qu.
wo xiang xian zai ying gai dao wo le ba.
lun dao wo lai ba ni dai hui.

jiu suan fu mu qing fan dui.
jiu suan quan shi jie de ren fan dui.
jiu suan lian zi zhi ye fan dui.
wo ye bu xiang fang kai. bu xiang qi nei.

qing ga wo men yi ci ji hui.
ying wei wo xiang xin wo men.
wo xiang xin zhi zi.
wo gen jia xiang xin ni. zhuo de dao.

shuo yi.
wo zai zhe li qing qiu ni.
qing zhen de zhen de bu yao fang qi.
qing ni bu yao ba wo cui luo de xin song zhou.

[[rang wo men yi qi zai wei lai jia you -

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

l 0 s t confidence -

2006-09-22T21:27:00.000+08:00

l0st confidence -

thin treads hanging onto each other.
i dun wanna let go of them so soon.

already on a cliff's edge.
wif no one to pull on.
no air to breathe in.

but stil carrying this fading ray of hope.

arteries n veins detached.
waiting for ur source of connection.

still.
you din take the initiative.
or perhaps u r jux sick of always being e one.

so i did e job.
but stil.
numbness is the result.

is there any other alternative?
any other route i can take?

plucked up my courage once to break away.
i died, trying.

slowly realised u werent turning back.
beautiful heart pieces shimmering in e moonlight.
vision blurring.

unclenching my fist altogether.
hoping it'll work.
capturing every single inch of e memories.
n deleting them one at a time.

but stil.
they clinged on.
holding strongly onto e hypocampus.

pls take the pain away wif u as u leave.

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

i'll learn i'm sure -

2006-09-16T21:32:00.000+08:00

hmm.
tings are stil fine nowadays.

he came up to mi n said sorry.
but well. i'll tink bout it first.
promos coming n i tink i shuld concentrate.
n he shuld wif prelims too.

so i guess.
tings r gonna remain stagnent for awhile.

PW submission next mon.
my grp is quite ready for now.
whoohoo!!
first grp to get tings done in class.
feel so accomplished.
though lots of it aren my work.

heex [x

aiya. who cares anyway.
i'll stil get e credit for doing my part.
but i cant wait for e most exciting component of all to come.
OP....

aww..
lots of pple are dreading it.
it's kind of weird tt i'm quite different.
u cant blame mi for being enthu bout tings to do wif TALKING!
hahaz (:

so sad ya..

kind of pity my classmates.
especially my fellow "bo liao gals" (including fook!).

we R U L E yea!!

it's always gd to haf some audio life entertainment at times.
so here i am pple.
do rmb mi when u needa de-stress ya (:

oh i cant take it anymore!
i wanna go SHOPPING!!

but it's promos soon.
so wil try to surpress my crazy urge for a spree.
n i need e money desperately.
so shopping wil hafta wait for awhile i guess.
i wun be blogging soon too.

all e best for promos yea pple.
work hard n strive to get promoted! (:

CAMBETTE!!

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

it's o v e r -

2006-09-09T18:33:00.000+08:00

i dunno if i'm suppose to react this way.
but yes i am.
i feel reali rotten.
i hate myself.
i'm hurting deep right down inside.
but i prefer to pretend tt i'm not.

this is rather contradicting.
because i was e one who wanted this at first.
but when it finally happened.
i realised it isn tt great aft all.

tears are swimming in.
but i cant let them down.

i wanna tell u.
pls dun gif up.
pls dun let go.
pls...

but my pride is preventing mi from doing so.

i always tot we're strong enuf to overcome any obstacles.
but u proved mi wrong.
making mi break all my promises at once.
at the same time shattering my heart into bits n pieces.

perhaps it's reali time to move on.
facing up to crude reality is nvr my best ability.

but u haf taught mi how.

and this time.
i haf truely learned.

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

k-box!! -

2006-09-02T23:02:00.000+08:00

it's obvious wad i'm gonna talk bout today.
cox my title says so. hahaz (:
crap.

had loads n loads of FUN tt day!!

went to K-BOX n sang a hundred different songs.
okie lahx. not so exaggerating.
jux ard 50 plus mahx. not too mani.
heex (x

though atmosphere wasn reali high at 1st.
[til eve came] hahaz.
we picked up quite abit when we were singing.
especially after e last song.
L O V E __ I N G!!

so so so damm crazy lahx!

den everyone disperse for a lil while.
before we decided to walk to taka to eat.
budden we kind of ended up in wisma de food republic.
so ex lahx e food!

parents weren too hapi bout mi going hm late.
so i had to go hm.
but e worst ting was i dragged everyone hm wif mi.
n dampened everyone's spirit.
reali reali sorry lehx guys.

was v glad tt we manage to had this kbox outing.
cox i reali did enjoy myself.
though e starting n ending wasn too pleasant.
but oh well. it's e main content tt counts (:

mani thanx to >>
ming. nutella. eve. suanw. ber. denise. zhiming. paul. nic. weijian. ban. yueqi.

for making this event a successful one.
reali appreciate ur efforts for turning up.
n v v sorry for needing to go hm early.
hope tt there'll b another outing in future wors (:

-------------------------------------------------------------

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY DARLING!!

may all ur wishes n dreams come true wors!!

hope u'll enojoy e celebration later on (:

MUACHX!!

the clock is ticking: [12.03am]

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

stupid mi -

2006-08-28T23:29:00.000+08:00

eMily.

be brave.

ni xIng dE! (:

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

leaders -

2006-08-25T21:41:00.000+08:00

finally got our badge n shirt today.
waited so long for this day le.
hahaz (:
e shirt was simple n sweet.
badge quite a disappointment though.
tot it wuld be smth reali special.
it turned out to be jux another badge.
only this time wif e words student leaders at e bottom.

nxt thurs got yoga mass display lahx.
den rono in-charged of e no. 25
so funi ya.
but lyk wad sk they all said.
we always get 2 be in-charged of e shitty stuff de.
no fair lor!!

nvm. we get 2 organise talentime nxt yr.
wahahaha...

hmm..
dunno if wanna go for the 25th anni dinner anot lehx.
sounds reali fun.
but $45 lehx. hahaz.
i'm quite stingy u see.
well. feel lyk trying out in e musical lehx.
mabi i go sign up lor.
but most likely wun get in de.
n i hope it's not lyk some stupid dance arh (:

vball practice carried on today as usual.
although we were held up by e briefing til 6pm.
but i was so enthu lahx!
so they beta not cancel it..
luckily they didn.
n i was reali reali glad it wasn (:

budden.
my spiking sux like hell lahx today.
partly cox i was rather distracted.
also cox i was damm exhausted after cracking my brains on history.
bloody hell lahx.
so mani projects recently.
the tchers are trying to kill us izzit.

i foresee e outing a success.
everyone shuld be able to haf fun.
at e same time not separating into their own cliques.
that'll be e best hoped situation (:

~ placing ur mind somewhere else is not easy i guess `

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

hapi times in skool -

2006-08-24T21:14:00.000+08:00

yday actuallie wanted to blog de.
den e webby went crazy. so din reali haf time to.
vball practice was rather un-fruitful yday.
cox of some pple. hahaz (:
had so much of spiking yday.
til my hand got cramps today ya.
but stil. reali had fun den.

anyway.
nutella cheer up lahx.
we all lurve u.
so dun feel so sad okie.
u r definately not a failure.
so stop saying so.
if there's anything wrong jux come to us.
we'll always be behind u yea (:
smiling is always the best medicine.

today is quite un-happening.
not much to talk bout.
except zhouren, sk, jishen n i had a lil conversation.
and it was through tt did i found out how innocent i am.
heex (: no lahx.
i'm jux a lil ignorant. tt's all.

hmm..

haven seen much of him lately.
but no choice hafta study.
my eyes had too much of their fill in e past.
thus it's none of him these days.
but it's okie lahx.
xiang zai xin li jiu hao. [[muachx_*

btw.
thx lots suan woo.
for writing mi a "love" letter.
its a v meaningful one indeed.
wil try to reply asap de.
n dun worry so much le lahx gal (:

well. tt's bout all for these 2 days ba.
alot of tings to say.
yet i hafta keep them shut in my mind.

oh well.
i guess this is life (:

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

it's showtime -

2006-08-19T23:23:00.000+08:00

well well well.

everything indeed went well yday. hahaz.
or shuld i say e day b4. cox it's past 12 now.

we were all damm high at mediacorp lahx.
so sad no1 came 2 sign a contract wif us.
hahaz (x

natella n sk were crazier den mi though.
at least i manage 2 stay quiet when e show started.
and smile at e camera when i hafta do so. heex (:
dunno who say face too big arh. wanna hide away.
wahahaha!!

actuallie......

we were at e back de.
den ernest managed to get seats in front.
so we ran all e way down to grab them b4 anyone can snatch it away.
kiasu-nism. typical singaporeans.
but we cant help it mahx. hahaz (:

e show was v interesting.
and jj pple were high lyk never b4.
screamed n screamed n screamed.
til yuzheng cant stand mi le. heex.
aiya. u cant blame mi mahx. aft all. i'm stil a gal! (x

lots of tings happened on tt day.
but i cant elaborate much. jux in case arh.
but some of u shuld noe wad i'm talking bout lahx.
jux v glad tt i went for showtime.
you guys were rite. i almost cant slp 4 the nite.
luckily i did. if not it'll b total shut down 4 mi today.
hadn been slpin for long hrs since last wk arh.

--------------------------------------------------

hmm.

PD block opening was quite a success.

heex. din reali do anything lahx.

so am not in a gd position to comment.

i had fun though. lots of fun!

went 2 steal some food when we were ushering.

even b4 e minister came by. hahaz (x

made a rite decision 2 stay on later.

cox they had MASS DANCE!

and some cheering session (:

thank god we are not going to k-box tml.

or else the mic would haf spoil. hahaz.

was v suprise half way thru.

but carried on anyway.

hahaz (: stella stop smirking..

n den we had a mass clean up aft tt.

this stupid guy came along and tried 2 act gentleman.

in e end i was cut by the splinter lahx.

arrhhhgggggg!!!

it cost mi a plaster tt i din intend 2 use.

a yellow colour one somemore lehx ):

------------------------------------------------

thx suanwoo, eve n stella wors.

thx alot for listening to mi even though u all were so sick of listening already.

heex (:

i will try not to repeat them again.

but it cant be promised. hahaz (x

u'll jux hafta bear mif mi den.

n eve arh. rmb 2 come back down 2 earth aft floating 4 so mani hrs.

u rise higher jiu not pretty le. hahaz (:

natella!!

specially wanna thank u again 4 accompanying mi these few days.

din noe u had so much time on earth.

but i'm reali glad someone was there 4 two consecutive days wors.

i owe u alot alot alot le (: wil repay them back some day.

suanwoo. u arh. cannot stand u lahx.

dun hu si luan xiang le okie. for all u noe it culd be u (:

there's always a ray of hope left.

my 2 ears wil be there if u need them alrite.

thx anyway. u guys made my day (:

~ you can do wonders with that smile of urs`

emily_* ^smiling always^

dare or dare -

2006-08-17T22:44:00.000+08:00

today's lessons were quite slack in a way.
ms lim was busy. so all of us had to rot for 2 whole hrs.
hahaz (: luckily we had e idea of playing vball arh.
so went to e PE porch instead.

played vball all e way to PC.
den carried on til 4plus.
decided to complete my v overdue hist assignment.
n at e same time discuss abit bout e tcher's day video.
hahaz. it's gonna be reali exciting. i hope (x

the worst n best ting of all was when stella make mi do a dare lahx.
in exchange for helping mi wif my hist hw.
so inevitably i agreed. [luckily it was simple]
but i had to summon up lots lots n lots of courage to even do tt 1 simple task lahx.

anyway. thx thx to natella n sk.
for staying back in skool listening to my crap wors gals!
heex (x hope everyone we asked wil turn up for e kbox outing.
den it'll jux be perfect (:

tml going to skool as usual.
but aft skool got e showtime ting.
YEAH YEAH!
gonna be so high again.
although this time must haf some zhi tai arh.

aiyoyo.
i miss e camp lahx!
i miss orientation, but leadership camp even more.

okie okie.
it's time to slp le ba.
haf been slpin at 2am for e past few days.
if not tml go to skool like panda arh.
dun tink it'll look nice on tv.
wahahaha!?!?!?!

nite nite people!
n slp tite..

~ i miss u too my darling

<lotsa love>

emily_* ^smiling always^

a walk to remember -

2006-08-16T21:33:00.000+08:00

okie. i noe my title sounds absurd but this is exactly what happened.

i n suan woo were confiding in each other bout our 'heart' problems.

and so we decided to take a very long walk around the track.

at the same time to look at something.

we ended up strolling around the track til tingting, jason and zhou ren they all tot we were crazy lahx.

but it was a reali nice long walk though.

at least there's someone to share my feelings wif.

another person who understands mi well enuf cox of e similar situation she's going thru.

and some things she said simply cant leave my mind.

it reminded mi of the harsh reality i had to face.

thanx alot wors suan woo.

very glad that we managed to talk jux now.

it made mi realise how much i actuali love him.

well. not tt i din noe.

but initially i hadn realise tt it's so much more powerful den i can imagine.

hopefully we'll live happily ever after.

..............................................................................

aniwaes...

the bloody LT was so freaking cold lahx.

i was shivering lyk hell le and e tchers can jux happily say

"there's nth we can do wif it"

wad's wrong wif their attitude man.

and jamie can stil tel us that she's v warm during paper1.

wa. cant stand it lahx.

my hands haf already turn purple lahx aft e paper.

so numb til i cant write much.

heex (x n i heard sk's stomach grumbling so loudly when i was writing my viewpoint.

den i tot of my own. n realised i was hungry too.

so in e end i was hungry, freezing n desperately needing e toilet.

so funi lahx.

~ loving u always dearie

emily_* ^smiling always^

wish upon the stars -

2006-08-15T22:51:00.000+08:00

well.

i jux realised i haven update on e trip to marina bay.

hahaz (:

so here goes:

it was on 090806

jing guo n frens got mi n laogong out to marina bay.

to fly kite, eat steamboat n watch fireworks.

budden e kite flying was rather a failure.

heex.

had to run n run n run.

in e end stil din manage to fly it up.

so funi lahx!! (x

den we decided to play "hai dai".

but dunno hu dirty minded wanna play "ji niu nai" instead.

wahahahax..

i shall not disclose hu is it.

luckily din end up being "nai ma" lahx.

hahaz (:

had a fun game of dodge ball.

keep aiming at each other.

thru this game i realised i'm quite gd at dodging in fact.

unlike some pple... (x

but it's commong sense lahx.

ur body so long n big.

i'm jux a tiny one. heex.

steamboat was alrite lahx.

e pple there were lyk crazy.

seems as if they haven eaten for a century.

i din noe crabs n prawns cost as much as gold.

*sense e sacarsm* - hahaz (:

had quite a fun time tt day.

especially e ending part where all of us missed e last bus.

n had to squeeze soooo mani pple into 1 maxi cab.

for e 1st time in my life i tot maxi cab was so small.

heex.

worst ting of all was when i fell down on e escalator.

n we din even manage to catch e last train back hm!!

luckily laogong was there to comfort my booboo..

hahaz. thx alot lehx dear (x

- photos at JE mrt. jux b4 i fell down -

" />

sorry for making u unhapi earlier tt day.

i promise next tym i'll haf a tatto wif u again okie (:

bu yao shen wo de qi wors!! [but i doupt u'll see this]

MUACHX_*

- b4 P.O.C. so cute hors (:<br>

" />

~ loving u til e end of my life

emily_* ^smiling always^